4 Things Really Successful People Say ‘No’ To

All failures are unique, but all successes look similar

Warren Buffet usually wakes up at 6:45 AM in his $652k house in Omaha, where he lived for most of his life. He then grabs a $3.17 is a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and a glass of Coke from McDonalds on his way to the office.

In the office, he simply… reads. Financial statements, news, journals, business reports, books — everything that might lead him to better investment decisions. He estimates that about 80% of his work time is spent reading. “I just sit in my office and read all day,” he once said.

He has also famously said that

Successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.

What is he referring to? Some things — like sleeping in or spending all your money on luxury purchases — are obvious.

Here are four less-obvious things really successful people give up in order to reach and maintain their success.

They say ‘no’ to feeling sorry for themselves.

Failure is an essential step in anything worth working for. However, it’s tempting to think that each of your failures means there’s something wrong with you. No, there could have been a million other reasons why you didn’t succeed that time.

Successful people view each failure as a stepping stone towards finding the thing that actually works. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, has famously said that

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work, — Thomas Edison

Despite getting a $180 million pay check after selling his PayPal shares, Elon Musk went broke to save Tesla. Here’s how the legendary founder sees failure:

“If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough.”

They say ‘no’ to useless networking.

I personally know people who take great pride in the people they hang out with. They’ll boast big names on their contacts list and present the achievements of their ‘network’ as partly their own. These are usually the people who prioritize handing out business cards over making actual human connections.

Successful people prioritize the quality of their relationships over the quantity. For example, Bob Iger, Disney’s legendary CEO, often recalls how Steve Jobs would show him Apple products pre-launch or called him up on Saturday mornings just to chat.

Eventually, that relationship was the only thing that enabled the purchase of Pixar, a business move that gave Disney a re-start it needed.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” — Keith Ferrazzi, author and entrepreneur

They say ‘no’ to most opportunities — business or otherwise.

As soon as you start seeing some success in your life, opportunities start coming at you left and right. Your friends are offering you business partnerships. Old friends start inviting you to come over for the weekend or participate in a charity event. Before you know it, you spread yourself so thin you don’t even know who you are anymore.

Successful people are masters at saying ‘no.’ According to Warren Buffet, who makes ridiculously few investments,

In your lifetime you should swing at only a couple dozen pitches, and you should do careful homework so that the few swings you do take are hits.

They say ‘no’ to people who drain their energy.

All people have 24 hours in a day, and all people have roughly the same amounts of energy. There’s a reason why people like Elon Musk are able to maintain 100-hour work weeks for years on: they limit their social circle to people who energize them.

One of my favorite entrepreneurs is Alex Lieberman, the founder of the Morning Brew newsletter. He’s been working 6 days a week, publishing a daily newsletter and speaking in local campuses since he was around 22. He’s also been suffering from anxiety and OCD for as long as he can remember. Yet, he built a $13 million newsletter in just 4 years.

Here’s how he sees his social circle:

“I feel most satisfied when I get to meet really smart people. I spend a lot of time getting coffee with really smart people. To me, that is when I feel most satisfied in general.”

Success is mostly about eliminating things that keep you stuck

Becoming successful is a lot like writing a good article. It’s usually not about how many things you can add, but how many things you can take away.

Successful people are masters at prioritizing and ruthlessly eliminating activities and people that do not coincide with their goals. In some ways, lives of successful entrepreneurs are the most boring — because they spend 90% of their time on the few activities that generate the 90% of the value in their lives.

Most of us subconsciously know which activities we should give up to become more successful. The difference between those who win and those who fail is that the former actually go ahead and do it.

As my favorite quote from Avatar goes,

You cannot fill a cup that is already full.